Remembrances

These remembrances accompany a longer article about the life and career of Charlie McMillan, the 10th director of Los Alamos National Laboratory.

Terry Wallace, director emeritus
Charlie will always be known first as a former Los Alamos National Laboratory director, but that hardly captures this man. I first got to know Charlie in 2005, and through 20 years at the Lab he became one of my closest friends and colleagues. He was brilliant, but more importantly, he was passionate, honest, and dignified. He was a talented musician, photographer, and since retirement, a fantastic watcher of the night sky. Charlie and I traveled a difficult journey at Los Alamos from contract changes, wildfires, accidents, and national security challenges. He was a man that I truly could trust—humble but skilled and always respectful. His fingerprints are all over things that are good at the Lab, and his influence on friends is deep. ★

Bob Webster, deputy Laboratory director for Weapons
I met Charlie in the mid-1990s. He was at Livermore then, and he  held a view common at Livermore—that plutonium material was completely understood. This was in contrast to the perspective many of us at Los Alamos held. Fast forward, and shortly after Charlie became the director at Los Alamos, new data from the Gemini subcrit provided surprising results in plutonium material response. I’ll never forget sitting in Charlie’s office and hearing him say that he was wrong. Hearing a Laboratory director say those words was remarkable—not only because that admission paved the way for the pit manufacturing mission we have today but also because in that moment, Charlie embodied what it means to be a true leader and scientist. He was committed to doing what was right for our Laboratory and our country. ★

Chuck Mielke, scientist
Just two days before we lost Charlie, I had the gift of working nearly the entire afternoon with him on a project. In an effort to help me and my team reduce our nervousness of presenting our work, he told us about how when he was a child and he got nervous, his foot would start to shake up and down uncontrollably. He reflected on his first piano recital when he was so nervous that he was unable to work the pedals on the piano. He eventually got over his nervousness by practice. We were all surprised by this story, as he was so incredibly polished in his presentation style. It resonated with us and allowed us to accept our nervousness and move on. ★

Richard Kacich, former deputy director
The Lab’s mission was of gigantic importance to the nation—and therefore to Charlie. It got the attention it deserved, but I never felt that it was done in a way that compromised the whole person that he was. To have the diversity of pursuits that he did was a reminder that, for any of us, if you’re singularly focused on something, you can get yourself into a rut. Taking a break from it and returning to it can sometimes provide a path to the right answer. Charlie weaved in and out of those responsibilities in a manner that served the nation extremely well—and it didn’t hurt that he had a Cray computer in his head. When those wheels were turning, there was a lot of forward momentum. ★

Jon Ventura, former executive advisor
I never ever saw him lose his temper, even under the most dire circumstances. I never saw him raise his voice. He was a gentleman, he was a scholar, his quiet leadership style is something I think a lot of people should emulate. He was a stickler for the facts. He did not like sugarcoating. He was a remarkable man. I can safely say, when Charlie was my boss, I enjoyed coming to work every day. His diligence and his commitment to the mission of the Laboratory was simply astonishing. ★

Jeremy Best, classification analyst
I met Charlie in 2015 at the United States Naval Academy when he was there to give a speech. I was his faculty representative and was immediately moved by his genuine personality and obvious leadership presence. After later accepting a job here at Los Alamos, many of my interactions with Charlie were around our mutual love of music. Before his untimely passing, we were planning to play some Baroque pieces that he was so fond of (and good at) in concert. I am extremely thankful that I had the opportunity to spend a small amount of time with Charlie and can say that his influence has changed me for the better. ★

Leslie Sherrill, X Theoretical Design deputy division leader
Earlier in my career I briefed Charlie several times, and I was always impressed with how engaged he was. It must be hard to be “talked at” constantly as Lab director, but Charlie made it clear that he was always interested, engaged, and inquisitive about the topics brought to him. He asked the best questions of any high-level manager; he always went straight to the point and made it clear he was not just aware of the broad issues, but that he had a very deep understanding of both the physics and the way we do our work. I look at Charlie as the type of leader that I aspire to be: caring about the people first, capable, organized, and supporting the institution. ★

Michael Richardson, division leader, Engineering Services
Charlie believed in me like no other mentor ever has. His unwavering passion for our mission drove him to pour deeply into our leadership, leaving an indelible mark on all of us. ★

Jimmy Fung, director, Integrated Physics Codes
He was a great mentor; one of the best I’ve had. Some of my leadership and relational style flows directly from his impact on me. ★

Alan Harrison, scientist
I had the privilege of knowing Charlie McMillan when he and I were both employed at Livermore. Sometime in the early ’90s, he and I were on the same trip, and we shared a ride home from the San Francisco airport. At the time, Charlie was group leader of the B Division code group, and he emphasized to me that part of his management philosophy was, “You take care of your people.” That impressed me at the time, and as I witnessed his ascendance into management positions at Livermore and Los Alamos, I’ve often thought that philosophy was part of the reason. ★

Konstance Kurrle, employee services representative
Charlie was the first executive I worked with at the Lab, and I helped him with his retirement process. I was so worried about that presentation, but Charlie and Janet made me feel so at ease. Both of them were so kind and appreciative in thanking me for the help walking them both through the process. ★

Olga Martin, program manager, Nuclear Nonproliferation and Security
I worked with Charlie on several occasions where we hosted international visitors at the Laboratory. During these visits Charlie briefed foreign dignitaries on Los Alamos efforts in stockpile stewardship and nonproliferation, and the content and delivery of his talks were always superb and extremely well received. Watching Charlie present and interact with our guests, seeing how eloquently and reassuringly (and with such charm and grace!) he responded to even the most challenging questions from our visitors, always made me so proud to be a part of Los Alamos. ★

Ted Stahl, security specialist
Charlie didn’t know me well, but I operated one of his secure rooms for a while. Well, one afternoon I was opening the room, which includes many steps. I was in the middle of the process when I felt someone behind me. There he was—just about gave me a heart attack! He was very nice and said he was trying to be quiet so I could concentrate. We both had a great laugh together. ★

Richard Sturgeon, environmental professional
In 2016, the Director’s Office requested a meeting with the Motorcycle Safety Committee. I thought it was going to be a simple photo op, but once I arrived, I realized that Director McMillan was genuinely concerned for the safety of motorcyclists at Los Alamos. He asked what the main issues were for motorcyclists on Lab property. It wasn’t long after our meeting that Director McMillan spoke to the Lab about respecting others on the roads and putting phones down when you drive. That was my only interaction with Director McMillan, but I came away believing that he was a really good dude. ★

Adrianna Martinez, research technician
I used to work as a background investigator. My first week of investigating solo, I had a meeting with Charlie. I had no idea I was interviewing the Lab director. I am sitting in this huge office with all these windows, and I ask him what his job title is. He chuckles and says director. I had interviewed a lot of different directors that week, so I continue to question him. Director of what? He chuckles again and says director of Los Alamos. I was as red as a tomato, but he was very gracious, and I really admired him for that. That was my only encounter with him, but it gave so much insight to the kind of person he was. ★

George Steinkamp, program manager
I’ll always remember a wonderful dinner Charlie hosted at his home. His warmth and generosity were evident in every detail of that evening. It wasn’t just a meal; it was an experience filled with laughter, connection, and the kind of hospitality that made us all feel truly valued. His legacy of kindness will continue to inspire us, and his presence will be deeply missed. ★

Luce Salas, intelligence analyst
My young child and I ran into Charlie, his wife, and their rescued greyhounds while hiking on the Quemazon trail years ago. My child petted his dogs, and Charlie allowed my child to peek through his bird-watching binoculars. In that brief interaction with strangers, Charlie was warm and friendly. I’m grateful for his steady leadership of the Lab during the difficult times. ★

Derrick Key, engineered systems technician
What always struck me about Charlie was his quiet strength and how he treated everyone with the same respect, no matter who they were. Some of my most cherished memories are the moments when Charlie would take time to engage in small talk with me about our mutual love of photography. Growing up poor in Detroit, I could never have imagined having conversations with someone of his stature. Yet, Charlie made me feel like an equal, and those moments meant the world to me. ★

Brad Beck, project-program director, Partnerships & Pipeline Office
Charlie and I once traveled together to Omaha. Our flight back was delayed, and Charlie and I sat in the airport for several hours as we waited. I remember talking about photography, what books we were reading, our families, and work. The airport was fairly quiet, and I remember how much I enjoyed talking with Charlie that evening about anything and everything. His kindness and genuine interest in people at the Lab and in Los Alamos was incredibly evident, and we all benefited from this. ★

Alan Carr, senior historian
I once had the opportunity to visit Trinity site with Charlie. That was one of the most memorable days of my career. Charlie had never visited Trinity but felt it was his duty as director to make the pilgrimage on the eve of the test’s 70th anniversary. I was able to take Charlie’s photograph at ground zero in the same place where his predecessor, Robert Oppenheimer, once stood. Charlie took a photograph of me in the same place, and gave me signed prints of both images. He was a wonderfully gifted photographer, and a wonderfully thoughtful person. Charlie faced great challenges during his time as our leader, and he handled those challenges with dignity, integrity, and energy. I know of no one who could have done a better job. ★

Lisa Cantrup, communications specialist
At a recent quarterly Engineering Services conference, I ended up sitting behind Charlie. To my surprise, he turned around and started chatting with me. He asked me how I liked living here and where I was from. I walked away from the short conversation thinking “what a nice and personable man.” I also could tell how much he loved his wife and his family. His eyes smiled when he talked about them. I loved what he said on stage too. He moved all of us that day. He was humble and authentic. I liked him instantly. ★

Greg Archbold, R&D engineer
My first memory of Charlie was when I interviewed with B Division at Livermore while he was division leader. I was also interviewing with A Division, and Charlie tried to make his organization more alluring by saying, “If you come work for B, you get to blow up stuff at Site 300.” I ended up choosing A, and it turned out that one of the projects I was on was the rare effort that required A Division physicists to blow stuff up with high explosives at Site 300. I would occasionally remind Charlie that I got the best of both worlds. ★

Stein Sorbye, nuclear facilities engineer
New to our neighborhood, my wife and I were walking our dog when we passed the McMillans, who were working in their garden. Charlie was quick to engage in friendly conversation and invited us in to check out his organ. It was not only his musical talent that impressed me but also his brilliant technical mind. Charlie had developed this software for his organ to make it sound just like pipe organs in different cathedrals around the world. Here was Charlie sitting behind his modest organ surrounded by electronic equipment, amplifiers, and speakers, and the sound was that of a full-scale cathedral. Leaving Charlie’s home that evening, my wife and I had a greater appreciation for organ music, and a wonderful feeling of meeting new friends. ★

Jeremy Conlin, Safety Basis manager
I was performing in a concert that Charlie was recording. He had his equipment set up including a microphone 10 feet up on a tripod and his cell phone at the base of the tripod. Sometime during the middle of the concert, Charlie’s phone went off. Of course, everyone knew who Charlie was and he blushed with embarrassment and quickly turned off his phone. A lighthearted moment showing that even Lab directors make simple mistakes. ★

Erik Shores, scientist
When Charlie moved to Los Alamos, he established Friday office hours during which any staff member could schedule a short meeting with him. I took advantage of those time slots several times and was able to get to know Charlie before my later management interactions with him. I have fond memories of his direct engagement in those meetings between staff scientist and senior leader. He was keen to solicit my perspective, share his, and ultimately work towards improving our Laboratory. Years later, as I became a manager and briefed him on several topics, I observed those same traits. Charlie was a leader, mentor, and kind person. ★

Michelle Silva, technical project manager
It was a great honor to work for Charlie. He was kind and funny and the first director to understand and champion the value of emotional intelligence. My career at Los Alamos, including the opportunity to be a group leader, would not have happened if it wasn’t for this amazing man who understood that reading people and knowing what motivated them and made them feel valued was as valuable as knowing a complex formula, solving a physics problem, or doing great research. ★

Ellen McGehee, historian
As a fire-certified archaeologist, I supported fire suppression and fire-break construction activities to prevent damage to the Lab’s cultural sites during the Las Conchas wildfire. It was Charlie’s first month on the job, and I don’t remember if he ever went home during the peak of the crisis, I think perhaps he slept at the Emergency Operations Center and wore the same clothes. It was a very stressful time for those of us working during the emergency evacuation of the town and the closure of the Lab, but I was so impressed with his calm and confident leadership through it all. ★

Landon Harrison, talent acquisition specialist
I didn’t know Charlie personally, but I knew his voice. I worked on the new hires team, and every Monday it was his voice that welcomed the new hires to the Lab in the orientation video. It was his voice and words that provided inspiration and an excitement that came with starting a new job and career at Los Alamos. I am so thankful for his wise words and the commitment he made me feel every single week. ★